December 26, 2012

• guns, drugs and dreams

  so i woke up from a slumber a while ago.  and the dreams were quite disturbing. i was hoping to just forget them – but now i’m finger poking away (at a keyboard, thx). the gist of the dream was this – i was driving along in one of my trucks and some thugs sideswiped me – ever so lightly – and tried to play it off as my fault.  i pulled over to see what the hell was going on and as a i did so the ‘ringleader’ drew a gun, pointed it at my head and told me basically he wanted $600 cash from me right there.  well not being one to carry tons of cash – i had $12 in my pocket – which i offered him – some other kid took the $12 bucks and then the ‘ringleader’ told me i owed him the $600 – but it was now $800 and i was obligated to run some drugs for them… 

  there were more details involved and it was bizarre – at first i was extremely passive, actually quite fearful and sought to appease these thugs, but as time or my dream played out i became more aggressive and perhaps as i came to wake i was almost at an agitated state – and was trying to play out ways to get my family far from this whole scene while at the same time notifying a friend who’s an undercover vice cop…

  and then i woke up fully i think and bolted out of bed.  today the gym i’m a member at doesn’t open until noon so i thought i guess i’d sit and type.  i’d also gone on cnn and the lead story was re: guns and licensed owners names were published in a long island paper…  and i’m pretty sure one of my uncles was published… 

  i’ve never held a gun in my life.  to be honest they scare the crap out of me.  i mean the mere fact you can hold this thing in your hand – turn and kill someone within seconds just seems like a really bad idea. for the longest time i’ve felt that no one should be able to keep a weapon – any type of firearm – that they should be all kept in heavily fortified and guarded and secured locations where the owners could operate them or hunters could check them out for sport – but would be mandated to return them within a certain period of time.  (why don’t we smuggle our gun industry to china – they have bazillions of people – that’s a huge market)… 

  anyway – as of late i think i’ve changed my mind.  i have inquired to my cop friend regarding gun safety classes (i was actually hoping to go with him to learn to shoot – but he only shoots at cpd facilities – and isn’t really a gun freak – it’s for his job and that’s all he wants to do with it.) i’ve thought about having a gun in my house.  i’ve thought a lot about what it would be like to not live in an urban setting – about having more space – but that’s more distance and further from someone being there to help… i don’t know – but it’s all waging in my head – and it’s not a particularly pleasant trend of thought…  it’s quite disturbing and i don’t think there’s an easy or immediate answer…  bleh… 

  for a long time i’ve found solace and a great deal of entertainment – and i think that’s what is intended…  but well – i don’t think this is how the original video was intended – but it’s still one of my favorite bands of all time…

  this is more my speed…

  but i fear this where we ultimately sit…

  what a way to transition from an otherwise joyful xmas…
  hope y’all enjoyed yours…

   

  • 11:01 am
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