April 13, 2013

• joy

  it’s a rather simple – yet highly intriguing word.  (until I had nearly completed this I hadn’t bothered to look at the etymology of the word – and then realized it’s, perhaps implicitly – a feminine name…  interesting) it’s extremely short and compact – but utterly profound in its implications.  i mean – how often does one find ‘joy’ in today’s world.  think about that for a moment – for me – i think simpler times might have more often allowed for this notion of smiling, upturned lips, slightly opened and an allowance for rather easy breathing and almost a lighthearted and lightheaded approach to one’s current plight or even existence.  a description of a state of being – really an escape from the most moderate or even mundane what would be the middle position, neutral even, or baseline of human existence.  one where we’re not happy or sad – we’re just in a state of existence and then a memory or event or stimuli occurs and we’re brought from ‘nothing’ to ‘something’. 

  a higher state or awareness of pleasure for most, it’s generally perceived as a good thing, in fact almost an excellent thing – except for the darkest most abused, most perverted – perhaps the idea of evil.  quite frankly – that’s a repulsive thought – but, well, i think it exists and we’ll acknowledge it and move on.  i prefer the idea of a ‘happy’ thought – a happy place of existence for the many, over the most regrettably dark and hopefully, isolated few.

  there are these two letters that hang tantalizingly beside and below an ‘o’.  and what’s an ‘o’ to do?  some would identify the ‘o’ as the circle of life – no beginning, no end; the ideal, perfect form…  and then these two – teases – these two almost deviant and cajoling forms – sirens of sorts – calling out to their shared neighbor – ‘come out and play dear fellow’ – well not fellows.  the ‘o’ isn’t masculine, rather it indicates a place for safekeeping, a depository of sorts, an invitation for engagement…  and the ‘j’ – it does hang below – but it does appear to ‘turn its back’ to ‘o’ and certainly is perhaps repulsed by its once removed neighbor ‘y’ where it might flee or attempt to remove itself from.  whereas ‘y’ hangs it all out there and lures ‘o’ with a cradle of sorts – a saddle or a swing to rest and caress, to hold near and dear and perhaps  banters or even teases his once removed neighbor ‘j’.  perhaps we were first given ‘jy’ and ‘o’ felt the need to separate them – to act as a referee of sorts, to drop in between and perhaps part or maybe even inadvertently became the link that joined and made them a more perfect and current whole.

  the root of all this, this perversion of sorts, stemmed from lying in bed earlier this am that time when you awaken in the seemingly safety of your bed and yet outside – the world is still without much light and is mostly lifeless.  for me, my spouse was still sleeping soundly and lost in the universe of limitless potentiality.  yet there i was in that point in time when there are still elements of darkness lurking potentially in the shadows of both the inner mind and physical being and it was my mind that sought or more appropriately wandered toward a gnawing gravitational field – a field with undeterminable outcomes; paths; journeys; realities and dread.

  and i was considering the plight of my eleven year old son – and the idea of ‘joy’.  and what i’m hoping now as i type and formulate this before myself (and actually in consideration of a potential reader) – is the idea that this notion of joy – never leaves him.  that somehow as a parent, that i, and along with my spouse – although she’s considerably more adept at perceiving and creating and cajoling this conceptual notion into a reality – instill, develop and invigorate this potential within him.  And it should be far more potent than latent.  and i know that’s easier said than done – but it is now more clearly identified in my mind. 

  i hope, as there should be – that there is still a vastly deep and replenishable reservoir of joy in his.

  • 9:14 am
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